I am only as able to relish life’s offerings as my level of openness permits. I cannot pick and choose what I will open myself up to or what I will bar from my life. Everything is dependent on an overarching quantity and quality of trust. I don’t like this aspect of life? Then I don’t get to enjoy this other thing that I yearn for, because they are at equal levels of intensity. Tough luck. So much for Utopia. If you think you’re going to find your Utopia, achieve your nirvana, think again. Because any amount of intense joy and pleasure invariably opens the gates to an equivalent amount of annoyance, displeasure and sorrow. Sorry buddy. You have to take the good with the bad, as the saying goes.

The icky things I’ve chosen to bar from my immediate existence should be bothersome enough to be worth what I’m giving up on the sunnier side of the spectrum. That’s a tough call, but at least I should try to be more conscious of my capacity to make that decision.

originally published on 7/12/08