Looking around tonight at my colleagues, I realized that I am different than them. Other people seem like they can let loose, do whatever they want, enjoy the feeling, the moment, and they won’t severely injure themselves. They won’t become fatigued to the point of incapacitation.
Others seem like they have a natural ceiling installed within themselves which protects them from over-exertion. I sure wish I had that. Perhaps that goes back to my earlier discoveries about having a lack of boundaries. It’s just very easy for me to overdo.

So tonight I tried to stop myself from overdoing. Unfortunately I ended up underdoing, which is also a problem in the end. Maybe that’s what other people are doing – staying within a certain range of action and thought and feeling. They’re lucky, ain’t they.

originally published on 8/12/07